Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
