he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
