i just google imaged poop.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
