downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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