did you get engaged???
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
