just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
