some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need to stop coming to work sober
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
