you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
