I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
