She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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