you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
