That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
