check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
