I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
