if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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