Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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