and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
