David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
