Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
