i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
