I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
