I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
