So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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