I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
