I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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