dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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