I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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