oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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