I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
