my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
the raccoons are back...
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