just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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