He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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