I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
