he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
