I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
