Your mouth is God's brothel.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize