i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
