The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize