I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize