mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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