ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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