I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
