It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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