I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
