Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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