A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
