thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
