Whod you bang
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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