So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
