why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
