We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
