She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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