We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize