the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
