did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
