Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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