dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
